Author's Note: I wrote this piece for a seminar on current events. We covered the Japan earthquake and tsunami. Our prompt was: Do you think the U.S. should help Japan after this natural disaster.
The ground shaking, tearing down houses, buildings, and communities. 30 ft. waves crashing over the island destroying everything in it's path. The state of the island is obvious -- they are in shock. Left with nothing; no home, no belongings, and no place to go. The question is who will take a stance and help this country in need. Will it be America?
March 11, 2011 Japan was hit with a 8.9 magnitude earthquake followed by 19 after shocks. The island was in terrible condition after the earthquake but after the 30 ft. tsunami, it was destroyed. 309 billion dollars of damage was done. Many lives were lost and many left with no place to go. Japan needs money and volunteers to help rebuild and get the island back on their feet.
America is the is the ninth richest country in the world -- we can help Japan. We don't need to give Japan 309 billion dollars to repair everything, but we do need to get involved and organize fundraisers and collect everyday items and money to send to the victims of the 2011 Japan Earthquake.
Amazing job. Your writing has gotten so much more advanced. I liked how you used dash construction and syntactic devices. I can tell you did a little bit of research to get information to back your opinion up. You were also very descriptive and organized too. Nice job with citing your sources. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you started it, it was very advanced and intriguing. I think maybe you could have put more of your opinion in there than just listing facts, because you only really talked about why the you thought the U. S. should help them in the last paragraph. Otherwise, I think it was really good.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things that makes your writing compelling is the style. When a person writes so well, people regard their opinions more than those that are not well put. I love the intro, and the way that you build to a point that makes total sense. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your introduction; it was insightful and I think it really hit home which made me want to continue reading. The feelings expressed in this response are so strong that if you ever second-guessed about helping Japan, you'd feel pretty guilty. (Which is a good thing!) If I had to be super picky, I'd say that your final sentence was just a tad bit long, sort of like a run-on. I think it just seemed like this because of all of the "and"s you have in it -- maybe a slight rewording would help. Kind of like what Mr. J said, your style as a writer has such an impact on all of your pieces. It's indescribable. Wonderful job on this.
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